Chapter 11: Goddess

So if we say God, I am attempting to give the definition of something so I can understand it or experience it. This creates a dilemma where at one end I desire to know God, and another which says God is unknowable but you can relate to that by finding correlations. If I were to say god is everywhere, everything, at all time (this underlying force, the game of hide and seek) so busy trying to define God, what is God? Even I could say what god is not, that would still be a reference to ascertain what God is. The negative definitions. Or what opposes god?  Gods’ purpose? In a semantic way to describe a power structure to give man hope and the belief of a goal or savior type mentality.
Another attribute of that is to conclude and say I am god, but not exclusivly, everyone is god. But because god is outside of the definable and logical world we might say that there is only part of god in everything/everyone.  But an opposing train of thought is to conclude then based off this premise, God is in hell, in the devil etc,. All is connected to the source, which makes me feel obscured about the harmony that eases into universal acceptance of the All. And verily if we had the power of a God, would this be the reality we all chose for ourselves and one another?
Maybe what you seek is not god, or the notion of that word, but the kingdom of heaven. The kingdom is supposedly within you, so we shouldn’t be looking to the external world to create this. That is why we are in the world but not of it. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is a metaphor for an internal state. Life is about peace.
Being happy. The goal of life is to be happy, for who wants to be anything other. But what brings you happiness is again subverted to the realm of constant change.
Devolves into hedonism. Narcissistic, fatalism, nihilism.

They say god works in mysterious ways, I have a feeling this inquiry into mystery will only unravel more mystery. It seemed that once the pond was so still and crystal clear, then life through a big rock in and muddied the waters. This is good, I have nothing but thankfulness for all that has transpired and shaped me into this.  Now I prepare to embark on another journey, one that takes me away from my home, and into the heart of my life’s ambitions. If I am to follow my heart and transpire my visions, let us move in confidence. And I will hopefully take you along for the visual journey. For this life is short, too short to spend all the love I have for each of my friends who have touched my soul and inspired me to breath once again. May each of you live the life of your dreams, for in this dream of death what dreams may come?